In the July 18th Secret Life episode, “Don’t Go In There,” Adrian returns to school, lying through her teeth about recent events and Ricky is the victim of the treacherous Karlee, a highly contrived plot if ever there was one.

Karlee Carmichael works as an admission counselor at the college and phones Grant High counselor Katelyn O’Malley to set up an admissions interview for Ricky Underwood. Ricky is none too happy to find out that this is the case. Karlee is an older woman he has previously slept. She is pursuing her Ph.D. at the college. In what? Sexual harrassment? LOL. When he gets there, Karlee informs him she only set up the interview to get to see him again and if he doesn’t sleep with her, he isn’t going to college. It’s really ridiculous. Karlee is working on a campus with hundreds of sweet young things but she just has to have Ricky? And, when she can’t have him, she calls Katelyn up and vindictively accuses Ricky of coming on to her!

Ben slept off his binge at his dad, Leo’s house. But Leo wakes him up and tells him to get up, go home, apologize to Adrian and go to school. Adrian’s nowhere to be found when he goes home, so he packs up his stuff and goes to school. There he learns a photo of him is circulating. A freshman was at the restaurant where he passed out drunk with his teddy bear and his dad standing over him, looking like he wanted to kill Ben. The kid took a shot with his cell phone and sent it around school. Lauren offers to show it Amy, who doesn’t want to see it.

Grant interrupts Jack and Grace to seek advice on whether Heidi Richman would want to go out with him. “You want to go out with that slut,” Grace says. Grant can’t go from her to a slut because it will make people think she’s a slut and he’s only after one thing. “Oh please,” Jack says, “that is so lame.”

Ricky accosts Ben in the hall and berates him for getting drunk, passing out in public and leaving Adrian too soon. He tells Ben to go back home. “Adrian has been through enough without your doing something stupid like this.” Ben says everything he and Adrian did was stupid but he’s going to make sure they don’t do anything stupid again – ever.

Just then Adrian strolls through the school doors. “Just when you thought you were safe,” Ricky says and tells him to be nice. Adrian tells Ben she’s not letting him go. “We’re married,” she coos, and gives a horrified Ben a big smooch.

If you feel sorry for Ricky in “Don’t Go There,” you’ve got to have some sympathy for Ben. He’s caught between the pressure his father is putting on him and Adrian’s act. If he falls for it, he’s going to be in a bigger mess than he knows, but Grace knows. And Adrian warns her she better keep her mouth shut.

Nora returns to work for Leo because he decided to give her another chance. As they spar over her limits (something Nora has a lot of trouble with), Ben calls and tells Leo that Adrian is back in school and he’s moved out. Leo informs him that he has to live in the condo and reminds Ben his car is in Leo’s name and his trust fund is locked up tight for years to come. Leo says he will cut off Ben’s checking account and credit cards if he hears Ben’s been drinking, smoking dope or moving out of the condo!

Adrian tells Katelyn a completely different story than the one Katelyn already knows, and also invents an allergic shellfish reaction story to cover for Ben being drunk. She accosts some gossips in the hall and shoots them down. Then she schmoozes Ben into remaining friends, living together as friends and walking down the hall with her, hand in hand. Later Ben informs her that they will be sleeping in separate rooms. Adrian puts her sad teary face back on and after he leaves the room, she smiles a big cunning smile and says: “Yes!”

Other Notes:

In one hilarious scene, Tom’s ex-girlfriend, Tammy, shows up in his office, in a sexy outfit. Tom says he doesn’t know if it’s appropriate for a workplace. Tammy offers to take it off. “What!” Tom exclaims, “You’re a married woman, woman.” Tammy says she’s bored and Tom says he’ll send her to a seminar on sexual harassment. When Tom says he’ll get back to her, she slinks out, seductively saying “You know where my cubicle is.” Another triangle? Meanwhile, Tom’s girlfriend Rachel is at the hotel bar and runs into Tom’s boss, Milton. That was one weird conversation. He told her she kind of looks like a hooker sitting there all by herself, then invites her to dinner.

Kathleen is madder than a wet hen to find out that Daniel is a college student from Jack’s dad. She grounds Grace and when Daniel shows up, she gives him what for as Grace sneaks out through the kitchen. Grace wants Jack to tell Daniel she’s outside waiting in the car. But Daniel already knew that and decided to have a hamburger Kathleen offered to fix Grace’s wagon.

In the coming attractions, it looks like Amy is going to take Karlee on, and it also looks like Grace is not going to keep her mouth shut. (Not that we approve of Adrian’s plan to get pregnant again).