In the July 25th Secret Life episode, “Cute,” the drama continues over Karlee Carmichael’s lie that Ricky attempted to jump her bones during the college admissions interview, when it was quite the opposite. We find out that Amy (to borrow a phrase from American Idol’s Randy Jackson) is “in it to win it.” Amy will defend her man, Amy will fight for her man, Amy will even lie to her man so that must mean she will lie for him too if push comes to shove. The bonus? Her man thinks she’s cute when she gets all wound up. “I’ll show you cute,” Amy says.

Amy goes to see Katelyn, the school counselor. She says Karlee is a “straight-up skank” who spells her names with two ee’s. “What kind of a name is that anyway — Karlee,” she opines, “I’ll tell you what kind of a name it is — a skank name.” We’re sure that pissed off more than one viewer named Karlee. Apparently, Katelyn only helps when she feels like butting in, not when students come to her because she blows Amy off. Amy later confronts Karlee on campus with little John in tow. Karlee laughs her off at first until Amy points out that she knows people who know Karlee. Amy plans to get Karlee fired.

Grace wants to warn Ben not to sleep with Adrian. She hints around about it, saying she doesn’t think he should do husband things in the way husbands do — just stay on the couch. Just when she decides to tell him Adrian’s evil scheme to get pregnant again, Adrian shows up. Grace bails. Later in the girl’s bathroom, Adrian warns her again that she better keep her mouth shut.

Ben got the wrong idea entirely from Grace’s hints anyway. He thinks Adrian is seeing someone else and when he displays signs of possible jealousy, Adrian is only to happy to let him go on thinking that. Later at the butcher shop, Ben tells Ricky he’s having dinner with Ricky’s mom, Nora. Ricky is flabbergasted. Ben says he needs a friend and Ricky says he is a friend. As they argue, Bunny comes in and realizes that Nora has invited Ben to dinner to lecture him about drinking. She tells him that Nora is a “friend of Bill’s,” which goes over Ben’s head altogether. He thinks Bill is the guy Adrian is fooling around with. (Bill W. is actually the guy who founded Alcoholics Anonymous. Saying you’re a friend of Bill is code for saying you’re a member of AA).

The dinner lecture isn’t exactly going great, but it goes from bad to worse when Nora’s ex-girlfriend, Ollie, drops by their table to ask for a private chat. Ollie sends Ben over to talk to his father-in-law, Ruben. Ollie wants Nora to come back to her. Tearfully, Nora says she can’t do it.

When Ben returns, the waiter mistakenly brings them a $300 bottle of Montrachet wine and Nora drinks some of it. One drink, as they say, is never enough. She continues to imbibe, informing the waiter they will not pay for the pricey wine since it was his mistake, while Ben begs the waiter to take it away. The next day, Leo finds Nora asleep in Ben’s old room at his house, snoring to beat the band. She has a note pinned on her that Ben wrote. It says: “Sorry Dad and Betty. I didn’t know where to put her. It’s not my fault. I did not drink. Love, Ben.” We don’t know if Ben ever found out who Bill is.

Ultimately, there’s some little investigation into Karlee’s allegations. That’s all it takes because plenty of people on campus are more than willing to expose the real Karlee who, as her stepbrother Toby says, “has issues.” Karlee gets canned and Ricky gets accepted without even having to go for a real interview.

Where are they going with these story lines anyway? Will Karlee disappear now, or will they delve into early sexual abuse as the reason behind her despicable behavior? Will Nora go back to being a lush or overcome her lapse and get back with Ollie? Frankly, who cares? Viewers are still looking for some progress in the Ramy marriage department and we’re getting anything and everything BUT that!

Funny Stuff

Grace has permission to “study” at Daniel’s until 9 p.m. When his sexy curfew-less neighbors, Dawn and Regina, show up, Grace feels completely out of her league. Probably because she is.

Tom has found the solution to his problem – his boss Milton’s interest in Rachel. He plans to let Milton have Rachel as long as the kids like him. If Rachel’s kids, Bonnie and Ronnie, don’t like him, Tom warns Milton, he’s out. Rachel is hoping that will work out for her, too. It’s hilarious when Tom explains his plan to his mom. Kathleen says, “oh, honey, it’s never easy to get out of a relationship.”

George and Anne continue to explore their relationship while Ashley and Toby are working various jobs to support themselves in Florida. Sign twirling didn’t work out. Neither did distributing flyers or selling fruit.