Secret Life’s spring season premiered with “Smokin’ Like a Virgin” (a horrible title if ever there was one) on 3/26/2012, and the drama continued in “Defiance” (we always like one word titles thanks to Law & Order: SVU – LOL!) on 4/2/2012, and we just caught up with it.

The defiance actually began in the first episode with Amy wanting to go to summer school and Ricky nixing the plan. Amy’s only motive, according to Ricky, was to support Lauren who was betrayed by former BFF Madison, when Madison slept with her boyfriend, Jesse. But Lauren was not the only one who felt betrayed, Ben blew a gasket when he found out that Henry slept with Adrian. Henry tries to apologize but Ben order him to never darken his door again. Alice understandably feels more betrayed than Ben. Adrian can care less. She is sweating Omar so bad that when Dante comes back, she blurts out that she’s been seeing his brother and still wants to be with him.

Another source of conflict between the two teenage parent lovebirds was setting a wedding date. No one, except Amy’s mom Anne, could understand why Amy wanted to savor being engaged for a while. Amy gets so testy, she calls her beloved fiancee ‘old man Ricky’ !!

Ben now has a thing for the redhead Dylan he met at the graduation part. She has a thing for him (their ANOTHER thing we have in common patter was cringeworthy indeed!). Her overprotective parents want to meet Ben and are put off by the news that Ben was a parent already and in the process of getting a divorce . When Ben cancels their first official date (because he found out about Henry and Adrian and had to deal with that), Dylan and her buds decide to drop in on Ben. They want to smoke pot in his bedroom and sappy ass Ben says okay.

Dylan’s parents are in hot pursuit of their “innocent little angel” and when Leo escorts them to Ben’s bedroom, the unmistakable odor of weed is in the air. Chivalrous Ben takes the whole blame and the Dylan and two of her friends let him. The third friend was not participating (not that Ben was) but she says nothing to exonerate Ben. Now Dylan’s parents really don’t like Ben and even when Leo finds out the truth, Ben is still punished with no computer, no cell phone, he has to go to summer school and a burly bodyguard/chaperone is going with him. But Leo definitely has Ben’s number and tells him that he cannot go around rescuing losers all his life.

Grace is conflicted over her feelings for Daniel and Jack. When Daniel finds out she kissed Jack, he’s not conflicted. Grace ditches med camp in favor of summer school and living with Adrian, against her mom’s wishes.

Ethan came back to live with Margaret, Ricky’s step-mom and Amy becomes responsible for him at summer school, just like Ricky warned her. Ashley returned from Florida, still the same snotty brat she was when she left and immediately rubbed her sister, Amy, the wrong way. She also went into a snit when she found out her dad had rented out her room to Nora.

But the best scene by far in either episode was the verbal fight in the classroom when summer school started before the teacher came in. That started out with Adrian greeting Amy: “Well, look who’s here! And I thought it would just be me.” Alice chimed in that Adrian thinks everything is about her. “Alice,” Henry protested.

“Hey, why should you reprimand Alice?” Ben said, “Apparently, you don’t know right from wrong.”

“Leave Henry alone!” Madison shrieked. “He made a mistake and he feels badly about it.”

Lauren pointed out that it didn’t matter if he feels badly about it and Amy seconded that, noting that you can’t expect everyone to just forget about it when you do something wrong.

“Why not?” Madison asked, adding: “We’d all forget about your big mistake if you weren’t always carrying it around like some fashion accessory.” Lauren and Amy became furiously indignant, with Amy demanding that Madison take it back. Ben told Amy to shut up. Adrian said she’s been waiting for someone to tell Amy to shut up for years and she thanked Ben, saying he was very thoughtful.

“No, he’s not,” Henry chimed in, “he’s probably just stoned.” LOL!

And that’s when the teacher walked in and gave them all detention, then Grace showed up late and got detention too.