Secret Life: Young at Heart Recap

“Young at Heart” (May 9th) begins with Adrian trying on wedding dresses she can’t zipper up the back. Grace is shocked to find out what a great big bunch of fun Ben Boykewich is in the sack. Adrian confides her biggest concern was that she and Ben wouldn’t get along “that way,” but it turns out the Sausage Prince is “crazy fun, just crazy.” Adrian doesn’t know what she’s done to deserve all this happiness but wonders if she and Ben should get married in church because the sex is “not just good — walk on water good.” The sales lady returns with empire style wedding gowns and says” OK, princess, let’s get you into something that hot prince is gonna want to rip off!”

Grace visits Amy to ask her to help throw Adrian a baby shower. Grace and Adrian threw Amy’s baby shower. Amy isn’t jumping up and down at the prospect until she recalls how Grace got her the job at the church nursery and say she owes Grace big time. After Grace leaves, she gets a call from a very horny Ricky. He should have jumped on it when Amy offered herself up on a silver platter but he would have had to agree to marry her, right? But now that he’s ready, he can’t believe Amy won’t fall into his arms. On top of all that, Adrian drops by to thank Amy for the upcoming baby shower. Not really. To let her know how glad she is that Amy let Ben get away. Amy calls her on that but catty Adrian says the sex she just had with Ben was the best night of her life. “Even that far along?” Amy asks. “Oh, yeah, even,” Adrian smirks, “and I’m sure that when you and Ricky finally get around to it, it will be a very nice night in your life.”

And to cap off Amy’s evening, Ricky calls back and implies he might have to find comfort elsewhere. But Amy not only stands her ground, she says she doesn’t think Ricky will cheat on her at this point in their relationship but he just doesn’t know it yet.

Later, she takes that a step further. Ricky wants an agreement that until she decides it’s right, he can do whatever he wants. “You can do whatever you want,” Amy says, “… I promise that for the rest of our lives you can do whatever you want. You just can’t do whatever you want when you want with me. And that’s just the way it’s going to be because the only way I’d be comfortable is if I feel like I have complete control over when we have sex. I don’t think I’m ever just gonna do it with you because you want to do it, not even if we’re living together, or even if we’re married. I want our relationship to be more than sex.” Quite a speech, eh (and the only words we left out were “look, Ricky). She turns and walks away. Ricky shouts “I thought it was” after her but she doesn’t even look back. Play those cards, girl!

Ben and his dad, Leo, have one weird convo. Leo wants to know why Ben is so happy. “I hate to ask you this, but …,” Leo starts saying. Ben cuts him off with “But, yes, we did it! Adrian and I had sex, if you must know.”

“No, I must not know,” Leo say, “or I didn’t want to know. Not about that.” Ben wants to know what Leo thought was making him so happy if it wasn’t that. Leo thought he was doing drugs or getting drunk. Leo wants to talk about the prenup he’s evidently had his lawyer draw up to financially plan Ben’s life. Not just Ben – this prenup has got stipulations that will provide for Adrian based on how many years she and Ben are married. And Ben’s kid can’t get any money until age 30 because it’s in a trust! “Don’t take this lightly,” Leo warns, but Ben says all he knows is he’s going to be a very happy man the rest of his life. Once the baby arrives, Leo informs him, things will change and relates an old saying. “During your first year of marriage, you put a penny in a bucket every time you have sex. Then starting your second year of marriage, usually about the time when the baby comes along, you take a penny out every time you have sex and you won’t drain that bucket if you’re married for 50 years.” Ben’s not about to let that old saying rain on his parade. “All right, nice talking to you, Dad,” he says, “I’m gonna go look for a big big bucket.”

After a scene where Ricky, Jack and Tom are at the driving range, talking about their sexless lives, Grace totally tries to crush Jack’s ego by telling him she barely remembers her “first time” with him and wishes her first time had been with Grant! “I’m lucky that didn’t stop him from wanting to be my boyfriend,” she adds. Jack points out that she’s probably not Grant’s first so that same theory would apply in reverse. Grace thanks him, but it was an accidental compliment. Grace also says she has already asked Jack’s father to marry Ben and Adrian and that’s a go. Jack wants to know why she’s comfortable enough to call his father but she doesn’t even know Grant’s father.

But that little omission is rectified later on when Grant’s parents come over to meet Grace and her mom. Grace is taken aback that Carrie Costigan (we’re willing to take a stab at the spelling) has a different last name than Grant (she kept her maiden name). But not as surprised as when his dad, Vic Volberg (the “Voice of Sports”) comes in with Grant. Huh? We thought Grant’s last name was Harvey. No double-take on that — but on Grant’s dad? He’s like 81 years old. The couple make their favorite joke about their “May-December” romance. Grant’s dad was born in December 1930 and his momma was born in May 1969! Of course, Grace’s mommy has married a much younger man herself, but not that much younger or he’d be in nursery school, instead of doing volunteer work in Zimbabwe, right?

Awkward Moment: Toby’s step-sister, Karlee, is over at the Juergens household and George takes quite an interest in her. Ricky shows up and she turns out to be one of his sleeping buddies. Ricky lectures her on going out with George. Karlee reminds him she is 10 years older than him and wants to hookup with Ricky later, but Ricky won’t answer the door when she comes by. We’re just guessing but the coming attractions show Ben getting in big trouble for spilling the beans about something and we think this is it. They show George kicking Ben out. What could upset George so much that he would kick Ben out? Finding out that Karlee slept with Ricky, after finding out that everyone knew Nora was a lesbian but him when he was barking up that tree, could be the last straw for George!

Funny moment: Amy says to Moose, the dog:,”It’s not like Ricky is an animal. I mean, he can control the need to have sex if he wants. Am I right, Moose, hmmm? Am I.” The dog is wagging his tail expectantly, after she just shared her sandwich with him. “Exactly,” she says.

Tender moments: Grant’s dad sings “Young at Heart” and tells Grace and Grant to dance. Then he dances with his wife, too. The closing scene shows Ricky and Amy at the driving range together, happy and smiling. Ricky shows Amy how to swing a golf club but she totally misses the ball.

See Vic Volberg (Dominic Chianese) sing “Young at Heart.”

Photo credit: ABC Family

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