Secret Life: Bad Omens

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The title (“The Splits”) of the 4/30/2012 episode of The Secret Life obviously referred to the divorces of Leo and Betty and Ben and Adrian. But it might also have something to do with future splits. It opened up with Ben and Dylan getting ready for their first date, while Smokey Robinson’s 1967 Top 20 hit, “The Love I Saw in You Was Just a Mirage” played in the background. Dylan was shown trying out numerous outfits and hair styles, while Ben also carefully selects what he will wear. This has got to be a bad omen! Look at the opening words to this song:

There you were — beautiful —
The promise of the love was written on your face
You led me on with untrue kisses
You held me captive in your false embrace …
(all the lyrics)

Camille is no longer MIA and as Ben gets ready to leave, she says “We hope you have a good time.” Then she feels she has presumed too much by referring to herself and Leo as a couple. “You two are disgusting,” Ben says.

At dinner, Dylan tells Ben she can be very jealous so he shouldn’t have anything further to do with Amy or Adrian. This is more than a bad omen — it’s a huge red flag. But Ben worse than ignores it. He subscribes to the theory that it means she really cares about him. No, Ben, Dr. Fields would tell you that jealousy is a very negative emotion and has nothing to do with caring!

Oh, and the Pudding Pops do have names. The worried parents see their daughter off. “He’s a nice boy,” Cecilia says. “He’s weird,” Robert replies.

Grace is still stressing about her new half brother, Jacob. She’s also mad at Amy for trying to talk to her about him. She perceives it as nosy and trying to put her “personal tragedy” on display for the entire world. Adrian attempts to put it that in proper perspective. She says her baby’s death was a tragedy but making friends with Jacob could be an opportunity. “It could be like finding your father again.” Later, Grace tells Jack how Jacob does remind her of her father. “He has his smile.”

Amy gives her dad George a hard time about any designs he may have on his first wife, Kathleen. She enlists Ricky’s help in derailing this potential union, making it clear she doesn’t want a step-sister named Grace! Jacob does want a relationship with his half-sister and presses Kathleen about seeing Grace. But Kathleen insists that he wait for Grace to come and see him. He thinks that sounds like a command and says: “My mother usually lets me make my own personal decisions … my own rules.” Kathleen explains at her house, he will have to obey her rules.

George has already planted the idea in her head that her husband may be cheating too. That may be why these doctors go on these mission trips. She blurts out a highly embarrassing question: Does Jacob know if Dr. Tseguay is cheating on her. Jacob says if there’s going to be rules, they also need boundaries and Kathleen apologizes. Can you imagine asking a teenager that!?! Jacob observes that if he is cheating, she will have a good reason to dissolve the marriage, but if not, the only reason she’ll have is not wanting to be married to Dr. Tseguay. “What happened to the boundaries,” Kathleen exclaims. “You are way too smart for 14.”

After getting the divorce papers, Betty drops by on Leo when Camille’s there. Leo tries unsuccessfully to get rid of her but Camille comes out, gets a bit huffy and leaves. Leo chases after her and she won’t let him come in. She is upset because she can’t understand what Leo saw in Betty. Leo tells her flat out that he and Betty will remain friends, although as her college life progresses, they will probably see a lot less of her. Camille drops her own bombshell: she wants children.

Jacob and Tom go on a mission to see Grace only Tom doesn’t have a driver’s license — he took Rachel’s car keys without permission. He does have a fishing license, but the officer who stops them advises Tom to be quiet until he gets a good lawyer. The officer then recognizes Tom as the son of his family pediatrician, Dr. Bowman. Tom informs him that Jacob is also Dr. Bowman’s son. Well, you know what that means. Nevermind Grant High, that little tidbit will be all over town by the morning. Kathleen is going to be pissed!

Dylan convinces Ben to take her to the butcher shop where she continues her psycho jealousy shtick. She’s going to show him that kissing her can be more exciting than having sex with Adrian. Uh, okay, but their antics wake up Ricky and Amy. Ricky has a surprise for Dylan — when talk of the wedding date comes up, he asks Ben how he and Amy chose their wedding date! Ben totally forgot to tell her about his wedding to Amy and subsequent annulment. Wait till her parents find out about that! As for Amy, it turns out that her reluctance to set a wedding date stems from fear — fear that she and Ricky will be divorced before she even gets out of her teens.

Dylan and Ben are hardly unaware of her parents’ anxiety. When he drops her off at home, they know the Pudding Pops are listening behind the door. Dylan says that the night doesn’t have to end because she’s pretty sure her parents are in bed. “Sneak into my bedroom and have your way with me,” she suggests. “Again?” Ben asks. Her furious parents pull the door open.

“Gotcha!” Ben and Dylan shout simultaneously.

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