Secret Life: And Circumstance Recap

Secret Life writers so love these clever title sequences, so of course after Pomp, there had to be “And Circumstances” … but it wasn’t an entirely inappropriate title. As it turned out, there were several compromising circumstances by the end of the show.

And, yes. What many viewers were waiting for all through this very long season. Ricky proposes to Amy and she accepts.

But not before Ricky, as class valedictorian, got a chance to whine onstage about his hard-knock life. And what were we saying last week about his anti-social behavior? He also took the opportunity to thank all the kids who helped him make it through the cold winters and lonely nights. Gag us with a spoon! Valedictorians are there to inspire the class as they go out into the world, not go into minute detail about the jailbird daddy, the reformed mommy, coat and tree-house loans. Then to top it all off, he proposes to Amy while Jack has to restrain the loose cannon known as Adrian.

Then everyone heads off to Jesse’s 50-mile-away lake house for the big celebration that goes downhill as soon as Madison takes her first drink. Grace is dancing with Daniel while a girl standing by a doorway keeps shooting her the evil eye. She turns out to be Raven, Daniel’s ex-girlfriend. How she got an invite to the party is anyone’s guess but she prevails upon Jack to cut in on Grace and Daniel. Jack is only too happy to obey. Daniel is not comfortable with Raven’s presence and decides to leave, with or without Grace and Adrian. As they are hashing this out, who should show up but Ramy. They kiss soulfully so we know they are soulmates.

Then it’s Amy’s Revenge. Ricky has been encouraged by his bride-to-be to give Adrian that last kiss she wanted so badly. As Omar tries to comprehend what’s so great about Ricky, Amy stands there with a smug look on her face that says: “go ahead, punk, kiss my man.” Ricky kisses Adrian and she pronounces herself free at last — too late, babe! Omar is disgusted by this spectacle (and who can blame him?). He says it was totally disrespectful not only of him but Adrian disrespected herself. Looks like the kiss she got from Omar was his last kiss, too. He leaves with Daniel. Adrian is rescued from the abyss of disgrace by good old faithful Ben, but not for long. Ben finds a lake house neighbor named Dylan he wants to get to know better.

The next morning, Lauren wants to have a heart-to-heart with Jesse so she barges in to his bedroom, despite his feeble protest: “I’m not dressed.” My what a big body pillow in that thar bed. Oops! It’s her immediate ex-best friend, Madison. As Lauren storms out, Madison follows (in Jesse’s shirt?), apologizing away while letting everyone within earshot know of her dirty deed. “She seduced me,” Jesse blurts out! We’re blaming this one on Jesse. Everyone knows Madison doesn’t have even half brain cell that works, let alone a seductive one.

Alice is another one in for a rude surprise. Adrian spent the night soaking up Henry’s chi. Jack slept with Daniel’s ex but Grace still decides to try that last-kiss thing to see if it’s Jack she should really be with.

Oh and even Griffin got caught in a triangle, with his current boyfriend getting jealous over a new acquaintance. Tom did not get to go thanks to his mother, who reminded him of his responsibilities to Rachel and her brood. Whatever happened to Milton?

And where were all the parents when this orgy was ongoing? Looks like Anne and George will be getting back together after a secret tryst. We know Leo was planning on spending a romantic night with Camille. We didn’t get to see any of that but we can still hope it wasn’t interrupted by a process server.

Now we will just have to wait till next season to find out if anyone got knocked up. Ben and Dylan didn’t do anything other than sleep so we can eliminate them right off. We’re betting it’s Madison!

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