About That Other Proposal: Secret Life

Tell us you don’t feel gypped. You can’t because we know you do. How can you name an entire episode “Another Proposal,” mislead everyone into thinking they are going to know whether Ricky and Amy will get engaged, then have it be the very last thing that happens, and make us wait a whole week to see Ricky’s answer?

“Another Proposal” starts off with Amy having quality time with her mom Anne, and sister Ashley, where she blows a gasket over the news of Adrian and Ben’s engagement. (Did you ever notice before that all the female Juergens first names start with ‘A’?)

“Married! They’re getting married. Ridiculous! Completely and totally ridiculous. They don’t even know each other. They never dated, they’ve never even been out or they hadn’t been out before Adrian got pregnant, and she only got pregnant because she was trying to get back at Ricky. They’re only getting married because they’re trying to beat Ricky and me to the altar,” Amy rants, “I mean, really, Mom, can you believe it? Adrian and Ben. Adrian Boykewich. What kind of a name is that? I’ll tell you what kind of a name it is. It’s a name where the two names do not belong together because the two people don’t belong together.”

Her mom and sister bail out and she says if anyone should be getting married it should be her and Ricky.

Ricky tells his real mother, Nora, that he does love Amy, but not enough to marry her before Ben marries Adrian. He says he doesn’t love Amy enough to marry her before Ben divorces Adrian! Who pops in but Amy’s dad who has been sent over by Amy to make sure Ricky isn’t cheating on her. George thinks Nora is “hot.” No one bothers to tell him that Nora bats for the other team. When George says one day Nora and he may be parents-in-law, Ricky says he’s not considering marriage for years.

Meantime, Adrian is going overboard with wedding plans, totally overwhelming Ben who didn’t anticipate Adrian in bridezilla overdrive. Adrian plans on inviting everyone — and we mean everyone, she even wants Amy’s son, John, to be the ringbearer. Ben was hoping for a smaller wedding with the happy couple roosting with his parents. Ben’s dad, Leo and his wife are meeting with Adrian’s parents at the same time. Leo says he’ll buy them a small condo, “if and only if it’s a small wedding.” Ben’s stepmom, Betty, compliments Adrian’s mom on their home, saying she loves the pictures of Cindy’s grandfather in the hallway. Cindy says those pictures belong to Ruben — they’re really Jesus. Did this seem comical to you, or is it foreshadowing the future conflict that Adrian’s family is Catholic while Ben’s is Jewish?

Jack finds out from Grace that he’s in the wedding. Adrian plans on having him walk in with Lauren since he’s not with Madison so he uses that as an excuse to call Lauren, and smooth the way for a call to Madison. Lauren is almost too busy with that info to say goodbye to her stepfather, Dave, who is leaving for good. She hasn’t even noticed he’s been having problems with her mom for the last 6 months. Before he leaves he gives Lauren and her brother, Jason, two large checks each. More mystery — we don’t even find out how much they are!

Ricky visits with Ben and tells him that he and Adrian cannot get married. Ben’s dad walks in on this, and Ben says they’re getting married in 6 weeks. “Oy vey,” Leo says, reminding us once again that they are Jewish. (Actor, Steven Schirippa, as old Soprano fans well know, is really an Italian-American from Bensonhurst). Leo tells Ben how they can have the condo instead of a big wedding. Ben is blown away because he was planning on having less responsibilities by continuing to live at home: “We’re not ready to live on our own, we need help! We need someone to clean up and to watch after the baby, and to cook, and to do everything that we have done for us here …” He feels like he’s being kicked out.

Ben dreads telling Adrian about the condo, believing she has her heart set on the big wedding, but she goes into decorating mode so fast it makes Ben’s head spin!

Sex, sex sex: Adrian wants to have sex with Ben, the doctor has okayed it, but Ben runs away. Jack ends up in Madison’s bedroom talking about doing “something different.” Grace and Grant sleep in the same bed, but no sex – Grace wants a wedding and doesn’t want to have sex unless there’s a chance they’re getting married. Amy shows up at Ricky’s telling him that they’re going to have sex and she’s going in the other room to change into something sexy, unaware her father is there and can hear every word she’s saying!

“I always thought it was him,” a disappointed George comes out and says, “I thought he was the one who came after you,” and leaves. Amy feels like “an idiot” but is undeterred from the purpose of her visit: to have sex and extract an “I will” from Ricky. She gets down on her knees and says: “Ricky, will you marry me?”

From the coming attractions, he doesn’t say no, but don’t expect a quick yes.

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